The Camp Cook in your Backyard: The Disposable Sizzle

8/16/13

The Disposable Sizzle

By Keith N Fisher

I don’t remember all the details, but years ago, when my wife and I were dating, I purchased a disposable barbecue grill. We were out together and in an attempt at romance, I decided I would treat her to a picnic.

I bought some hamburger, buns, chips and salad, I think. We went up the canyon and I started the charcoal. It was a disaster. Like I said I don’t remember the details, but I do remember the cold fire, raw hamburgers and me feeling like a clod.

We were married in 1986 before the advances in technology, but I still cringe when I see the disposable grills for sell.

On this blog, I’ve written about the top of the line Ferrari barbecues, and I’ve written about the public grills that nobody uses. I passed a disposable grill display at work the other day and decided to write about that. I bought one for $5.99 and brought it home.

My wife asked, "what is that?"

I said, "research."

the contents of the package. A little flimsy

With trepidation, I girded my loins and tried to put my bad experience behind me. Moving forward I opened the package and followed the instructions.

The fire I lit lasted longer than I thought it would, and I got impatient. While waiting, I changed my clothes and thawed some meat. When I returned, I discovered the grill had wedged itself between the uprights of the stand. (The whole thing is flimsy anyway).

After pulling it apart and bending the stand back, I sat to watch the flames but I couldn’t wait. The brats on a plate were making my mouth water. I found the grate had deformed above the heat and was not level. I pressed down on the dome shape with my tongs and flattened the surface.

lighting the fire

With flames still burning, I put the brats on, but I couldn’t keep them from rolling. Still, I managed to get them cooked, applied mustard, and they were delicious. Next I thawed some turkey burgers and discovered room enough only for two. Well, perhaps four but they wouldn't be over the heat.

Okay, all in all, it’s not a bad product. You get what you pay for and the charcoal does light quickly. When I finished, the coals were still going, strong enough for many more burgers and brats. If one of those had been available twenty-six years ago, I would’ve been a hunk instead of a clunk.

She still married me, however. (It was too late to back out), and writing women’s fiction is teaching me more about romance. Maybe I should try the picnic again. Since I’m writing a cookbook, I might be able to write it off my taxes.